my heart goes on....

for all those of you for whom this matters...happy valentine's day. and for all the others, like me, whatever. every year...feb 14th comes and goes by...but (un) fortunately its not a different day in my life. there is nothing out of ordinary that i do. i admit,though, that its nice to see the love birds scrambling in gift shops and flower boutiques trying to give a present to their special some one and express their love.

i wanted to raise this question today which has been bugging me for quite some time now. forgive me for being totally un-romantic on this day for bringing this up. but i thought this is the right time...anyway the question is "Why is love associated with heart?" I thought love was a feeling like any other emotion....and every feeling originates and culminates in brain. So, whether you love someone or not, its a thought process and seems logical to be associated with brain. Where does heart come into picture? I don't think it can think! Can it? Someone told me that brain has some nerve endings which go into heart and these emotions are carried on those nerves. So when the brain generates any emotions the signals are carried to the heart and it might be biologically affected. probably thats the reason of increased heart beat / pulse rate when you see someone you love. why is the dear brain neglected and not given any importance in this phenomenon then? why does heart get all the credit? i always believed brain is one of the most complex structures in the human anatomy and should be given its deserved respect. if you had to choose between heart and brain...what would you choose (assuming you would be alive with only one of those)? i would go with brain ...whats life when you are not able to think?

so when people say "you dont have a heart" or "he thinks with his mind rather than heart" what it essentially means is that part of brain which deals with emotions is responsible. thats how i see it . now dont get me wrong, i love the heart shaped balloons and all those beautiful songs written on heart and love...but it just gets me thinking you know. why did our ancestors romanticize the heart and not the brain. i dont have a clear answer...i hope you would give it a thought next time someone says something about the romantic-heart. if u have something to comment i would be glad to discuss.

anyway...i wish you all a happy valentines day once again. hope u get to celebrate it with your loved ones. ... luv V

about me....

though every time i blog, i promise myself and my paltry viewers that i would put up stuff more frequently from now , i never get around doing it. so this time i wont make any promises...but i would try (again a promise?). lately i have been reading this interesting blog by an anonymous blogger who calls herself "Violent Acres" (u can find the link in my link's section). apparently this blog has raked up lot of interest and web traffic due to its "devil may care" nature of the writing. i wud recommend this to people who have some time to spare...anyway without further ado i will delve into the topic i want to write about.

i have often described the "about me" sections of various social networking and other such websites with corny statements like "its tough to describe oneself", "simple man with complex tastes" and off late "currently retrospecting". i think it was my defense mechanism to avoid trying to answer the question directly. infact i never gave much thought about it. am sure most of the people out there fall into this category. at last i have decided to describe myself , more for the benefit of myself than others.

when people write "about me" sections...what they write is what they think about themselves probably not what they actually are. i hope u agree that there is a difference. so what i am writing now is what i think about myself. to start with...i am a very conventional person i.e., a normal person, i don't want to be a rebel - don't want to be different just for the heck of it. am what a person is supposed to be, atleast according to myself. i hate it when people say but i am only a human being or am not a saint when they do any mistake. i simply fucking hate it. am not saying that one is not allowed to do mistakes...but one has to take the full responsibility of one's actions but not blame the human nature. when u say "i can't stop drinking coz am only human" or "i cheated on my girl because its only human to get attracted to other woman" etc etc...i would simply say "Fk U". perhaps am influenced by the notion of a true man by Ayn Rand ...but thats me. coming back...am not a very emotional person...i don't believe in cheesy talks or mushy-gushy things. if you are truly attached to a person it should be in your heart whether or not you express it cheesily. i agree that expression is important but am sure if a person truly understands you, he will know how attached you are even though u won't express it in words. as a side note...am not a very expressive person either as u might have guessed by now. also....i think more with my mind than my heart, (i want to write a blog about how a heart can think... in future)for better or worse. what i mean is, if a person very close to me makes a mistake and a complete stranger is doing right i would most probably support the stranger. unconditional love is not something i can fathom. and...i cannot hate a person no matter what.in my 22 yrs of life so far, there is no single person i hate ...being mean and hating a person in this short life...i think is a waste of time. adaptive is an adjective i would like to describe myself with...i can adapt to almost any situation and become part of a group easily even if the groups are on extreme ends of the spectrum.

my well wishers want me to be smart but i want to be good. smart is the one who achieves what he wants, no matter what affect that has on others...good is the one who might not achieve his goal because it hurts others. strangely this world admires smart people... they don't care whether u r good or not. god bless people. one thing i would like to change about myself is not being assertive... i want to be but somehow can't. instead of arguing i just shut the fuck up and hope the other person will understand in due time. being cool is a phrase i don't approve of either....atleast in the form its currently being perceived. wtf is being cool anyway? if acting as if you don't care what happens...or trying to look carefree in the eyes of your peers is cool..then i don't want to be cool. if you like what you are doing ...thats cool for me. and finally i would end this with what my friend Sai aptly described about me "i am the kind of a person who would like to play the game within the rules...and don't care for the result".